Posts by Open mind

The more detailed analyses of Momma-Tossed-Me, Flipper and steve2 make quite a bit of sense, but at the end of the day, we're all just speculating here.

Giving the consultant the benefit of the doubt, PaintedToeNail's take might be right on the money:

"Maybe the consultant JW felt she didn't have anything really in common with Open Mind's wife and wasn't comfortable just making chit-chat."

This is probably best-case-scenario for the consultant and JWs in general. And if it's true, then it was a very unremarkable situation on the whole. Except for the last bit. That's the part that demonstrates the power of the JW religion.

If the consultant & my wife had both been Baptists or had formerly attended the same school and my wife said "Oh, you went to XYZ High School? So did I." If the consultant was still feeling non-chatty, she could say "That's nice. Small world." and continued to not pursue a conversation. But if a JW finds out that a recently-met stranger is a fellow JW, there's a very strong expectation that at least a few more sentences of dialogue MUST take place, IMO.

Picture this dialogue:

My wife: "Oh, I just heard that you're a Sister!! I'm a Witness too!"

Consultant: "That's nice. Small world." *walks away*

If the consultant did that, she'd be sending up big red flags that something's not quite right in her JW world.

In retrospect, my wife used the power of the cult to mess with this lady. And it worked. Yes, it was petty and manipulative.

(And it was a little bit of fun. )

The more detailed analyses of Momma-Tossed-Me, Flipper and steve2 make quite a bit of sense as well, but at the end of the day, we're all just speculating here.

Cheers,

om

38

How do i overcome this guilt and fear?

by newcomer1982 in

ive recently decided not to be a witness anymore and at the age of 28 was still so afraid to tell my parents.

the truth is their life and knew i would hurt them.

ive had such a battle with the elders and because my dad is an elder its even worse.

Open mind

Here's a quote that might be of some help. It's almost a cliche on this board, but I really liked it the first time I read it and so did my wife.

"I'd rather have questions I can't answer than answers I can't question."

Embrace uncertainty. It's exciting as long as you don't let it overwhelm you.

All the best to you on your path of discovery.

om

16

New JW shows up at my wife's work.....

by Open mind in

jw
friends

so my wife shows up for work and finds out that a self-employed consultant is going to be on site for a few days.

she also finds out through the jw grapevine that the consultant is a jw.

(my wife and i are faders, but still attend the occasional meeting.

Open mind

leavingwt: Thanks for making me nauseous. LOL.

ziddina: "This wasn't in a Jehovah's Witness-owned company, was it? "

No. Even if it was, it would be pretty tough to get anywhere with a discrimination lawsuit, IMO. The consultant was just being cold toward my wife and gushy, friendly, talkative with the other JW there. She didn't overtly say or do anything illegal. But she immediately recognized she had been cold towards my wife, judging by her changed demeanor when my wife dropped the "fellow-JW" bomb.

Just my $.02. I used to watch LA Law all the time so I'm pretty well informed on matters of law.

om

16

New JW shows up at my wife's work.....

by Open mind in

jw
friends

so my wife shows up for work and finds out that a self-employed consultant is going to be on site for a few days.

she also finds out through the jw grapevine that the consultant is a jw.

(my wife and i are faders, but still attend the occasional meeting.

Open mind

don'tplaceliterature: I appreciate your honesty.

sir82: Not a bad idea, but I think you're right about the end result being "fake nice".

om

16

New JW shows up at my wife's work.....

by Open mind in

jw
friends

so my wife shows up for work and finds out that a self-employed consultant is going to be on site for a few days.

she also finds out through the jw grapevine that the consultant is a jw.

(my wife and i are faders, but still attend the occasional meeting.

Open mind

Momma-Tossed-Me: Interesting analysis. When I have a bit more time, I'd like to ask for more clarification on a couple points you made.

I think the main reason I shared this story is I would have loved to have been there when the consultant made the 180 degree flip.

Jim Morrison was definitely right with "People are strange."

JW people are even stranger.

om

16

New JW shows up at my wife's work.....

by Open mind in

jw
friends

so my wife shows up for work and finds out that a self-employed consultant is going to be on site for a few days.

she also finds out through the jw grapevine that the consultant is a jw.

(my wife and i are faders, but still attend the occasional meeting.

Open mind

So my wife shows up for work and finds out that a self-employed consultant is going to be on site for a few days. She also finds out through the JW grapevine that the consultant is a JW. (My wife and I are faders, but still attend the occasional meeting.)

Throughout the day my wife has several interactions with the consultant and each time, my wife is treated like so much dog manure under the consultant's shoe. The 3rd JW on-site is treated like royalty by the consultant right off the bat because, IMO, the consultant knows the 3rd JW is a JW.

My wife strategically waits until the day is mostly over before blowing her JW cover. My wife asks something like: "So, do you attend the XYZ Congregation?"

180 degree flip in attitude by the consultant.

"Ohhhh, you're a Sister?!?" Gush, gush. Friendly, friendly.

I'm not really sure exactly what, if anything, to make of this. It's not like it's stereotypical JW behavior. There are plenty of JWs who would be friendly to everyone in hopes of "giving a good witness".

Any thoughts?

om

102

How do you make a living?

by paulnotsaul in

jw
friends

since most of us believed it was right around the corner, how many of you went to any secondary schools or training?

what do you do now to survive?

are you working or unemployed?

Open mind

om

34

What's Fun in Boston?

by SixofNine in

jw
friends

any travel advice from boston natives or people who know the area well?

i will be flying into boston on my way to a cabin in maine at the end of august, and my schedule allows me the flexibility to either fly in and drive to maine immediately, or spend a day or two in the boston area.

what is a must see/must do in the boston area?

Open mind

I was there about 20 years ago when I was single and before becoming a foody.

LegalSeafoods.com

Fantastic clam chowder.

Also, the Witch Museum in Salem was touristy but enjoyable.

om

37

Im Going To Be Disfellowshipped!

by TimothyT in

in 6 months, my life has completely changed!.

i have chosen to be gay, i no longer suffer with guilty suicidal feelings, i have the most amazing boyfriend, and my parents and friends accept me for who i am.. i was informed today that a judicial comitee will be formed to disfellowship me.

i dont feel any kind of bitterness or sadness despite the fact that this is all i have known for 20 years and im about to lose some very close friends.. on the contrary, i feel fabulous!!!

Open mind

Very good to hear you're taking it so well.

DFing is still F'ed up tho.

Wishing you well on the road ahead.

om